I don’t know about you but my bag – even on a good day – looks like a bottomless pit full of old receipts, stray hair clips and a handful of homeless coppers. (Just to clarify, I mean the brass coloured pennies that us Brits use, not tiny policemen living in the lining of my handbag.)
They DO say never to look in a woman’s handbag and this is precisely why. Because it’s a terrifying bin of life. And all these clean, crisp and colourful flat lays are lying about the true contents of a typical girls handbag. Either that, or I’m just exceptionally messy and disgusting. Which to be frank, is quite likely.
Recently my handbag has been inefficiently packed, bulging and bulky and it’s been bringing me down. It actually resembles my brain quite aptly, whilst I think of it – full or rubbish! Inside its worn leather walls, is an array of necessary clutter.
So, what exactly is in my bag? Or a perhaps a more appropriate question would be ‘What isn’t in my bag?’ as I seem to have everything in there, bar the kitchen sink. Well, let’s delve in and find out…brace yourselves.
- French Connection Sunglasses. Because I’m hopeful that I will still be able to make use of these. I’m finding it hard to let go of summer. It’s tough.
- Blistex Lipbalms. And plenty of ’em! Because ain’t nobody got time for dry lips. I’m not entirely sure why I have three of them in my bag. But perhaps like Mr Bean I have, not back up exam pencils (totally just wrote penis by accident!) but back up lipbalms.
- Four pens. Because I like to write. I also accidentally steal pens from people and places.
- A pencil. Because adopting stationery is something I didn’t know I did. This is a school pencil and I’m not sure how it got in my bag.
- My work badge, lanyard and whistle. Because at any time I can whip this out and demand respect. A whistle is also considerably cheaper than a rape alarm.
- My B for Becca Oyster Card holder. Because I have to use public transport from time to time and I blatantly do so in style.
- Books and Notebooks. Because reading and writing are like breathing to me. Also if I were to be kidnapped, having some reading material and something to write on would prevent any potential boredom. Although to be honest, if I did ever experience the horror of being kidnapped, I expect that boredom would be the very least of my worries.
- My house keys. Because sitting on the doorstep waiting to be let in is demoralising aged 24.
- TICTACS. Because I clearly have an unhealthy and insatiable obsession for these small, white mints.
- Hairbands. Because I quite often spontaneously change hairstyles.
- Plasters. Because my shoes are forever giving me grief.
- Painkillers. Because period pain is a real struggle.
- Free App from Starbucks. Because I can’t turn down anything that’s free.
- Neutrogena Scented Norwegian Formula hand cream. Because it is the best hand cream available, it transforms my hands from sandpaper to a baby’s bottom.
- Decaffeinated tea bags in an egg-shaped container. Because caffeine gives Oli really nasty migraines so if ever we go out and the place doesn’t do decaf, I can whip out my egg. (That sounds odder than I intended!)
- A screwed up shopping list. Because I couldn’t find a bin.
- A screwed up bag that once contained pick and mix sweets that I should never have eaten. Because I couldn’t find a bin for this either and like I said I’m a slightly gross human being. Still at least I’m not a litter bug eh?
- My Purse. Because nothing in this world is free. Or cheap.
- Receipts. Because I couldn’t be bothered to go through the faff of folding them up neatly and putting them into my purse. So shoved in the bag they were. Whoops!
So that’s pretty much what’s in my bag. Since doing this post, I can assure you that I’ve majorly de-cluttered, I’m sure you’ll be pleased to know that I’ve binned the receipts, the screwed up shopping list and the sweet bag.
I hope this tongue in cheek ‘What’s in my bag?’ post has made you chuckle at least a teensy bit. Feel free to let me know what you carry around in your bags, by commenting below, I’d love to know!