Ok, so I’m in church. All is well initially, we’re singing and I just so happen to scan the left side of the hall. Then I double take. Because there is a man I haven’t seen before. A man who is gorgeous, a man who is in his early twenties, a man who is dressed well, nice jeans, grey hoody, converse, stubble, very appealing nose and smile. Potential husband has been sighted.
But before I start thinking about what his name could be, I stop. Hold on here, Rebecca. Check for the Ring. You cannot look at another woman’s husband. It just doesn’t feel right and it’s a tad humiliating. This had happened the other week when the band were playing – before the overhead projector fell off its stand and practically split in half – yes, I had sighted a delightful man who I believed was dressed head to toe in boyfriend material. But as he picked at the strings of his guitar, I caught a glisten that could only be the Ring. Turns out he’s married with two small children.
Awkward. And such a shame. It would appear all the best ones are married.
So today I steadied myself. I had to bide my time and ensure that this man was unattached. We carried on singing, the screen I was looking at for the words, directly above his head. How is a girl meant to praise the lord, when there is a hunk in her way? I tried my best, trying to look as holy as I could.
The moment arose when he lifted his hands in the air and I watched closely with simultaneous subtlety (I hope) praying that there would be no glint, no shine; no Ring upon that magnificent finger.
Of course there was, how could I have been so foolishly hopeful? So I deflated a little, as I gave back our wedding presents, cancelled the venue and returned my wedding dress. But I kept the cake.
But where was his wife? Where was the woman who put this Ring on his finger? I couldn’t see her. Anywhere. He was sitting next to an elderly couple and a middle-aged woman, surely he wasn’t married to a woman old enough to be his mother? So my hope returned because surely his wife would come to the same church as him. Plus he didn’t look married. He looked almost too casual to have a mortgage and a woman to provide for. He didn’t look hitched to me.
Then I remembered my travels in September. I traveled with a Christian holiday company called Oak Hall, for a month around Europe; various people joining us along the way (a severe shortage of eligible males). Before we embarked on our trip to Italy we were parked in a Sainsburies car park, while everyone crammed their rucksack full of snacks for the very long journey ahead. Urggghh the thought of sleeping on a coach all over again actually makes me feel a physically sick. Not comfortable in the slightest. Especially when you are seated next to the heaviest snorer in the world. The top deck actually shook.
Anyway my friend and I, were quite hyper and excited, after eating some Haribo’s before re-boarding the coach. We hadn’t realised that more people had joined the coach at this point. So it was a pleasant surprise when we saw a gorgeous young man sitting in the seat adjacent to the stairs. In fact we were both so shocked that we tripped up the stairs.
Once the coach started rolling, we played happy families and it appeared that this handsome gentleman was very much alone on the coach but was also with Ring. Now this baffled me a lot and my initial awe at his aesthetics faded whilst my friends grew. What kind of respectful husband comes on holiday without his wife? Now Oak Hall is renowned (and this is most certainly not why I went with them) for marriages. People meet and fall in love. I witnessed this. Unfortunately not first hand. But why would this guy swan onto the coach, full of young, women who’d quite like to fall in love, with a ring on, if he isn’t married? Just why?
It baffled me and my friend for quite sometime and we came up with the following reasons for the Rings presence.
1) His wife had died.
2) His wife and he needed some space to sort through some personal issues.
3) He likes to pretend to be married.
4) Hi wife is in a coma and he needed a break in the Italian sunshine.
5) He had a hideous birthmark that could only be hidden by the Ring.
6) The Ring illustrated his marriage to God
And then it dawned on me. Hold on, it’s a Purity Ring!
By Jove, I think she’s got it! And I had. So as my friend and the Ring wearer got ever closer, it was apparent that he a) wanted to commit adultery, b) was a terrible flirt or c) was in actual fact a single guy wearing a purity ring.
And it just so happened to be C. His reason behind this finger appendage was most honorable and incredibly sweet; he even gave my friend the Ring at the end of the holiday and now they’re a very happy couple indeed. Perfectly matched, loved up and altogether lovely.
But I still find Purity or Promise rings, or whatever you want to call them, most misleading.
I’m not really a fan. I absolutely love what they stand for and agree wholeheartedly that ‘True love waits’. But why a ring? For me rings, worn on the ring finger, equate to marriage. If I see a man wearing a ring on his ring finger, I immediately assume that he’s taken and I feel silly talking to him kidding myself that its a purity ring; plus you always have the awkward worry of how to phrase, ‘So are you married?’ or ‘And just where is your wife?’
So I came to the conclusion that the potential husband I spotted this morning, could well be wearing a purity ring. And that he isn’t in actual fact married. I don’t know this for sure, obviously but he was wearing said Ring on his right hand and according to Google wedding bands are worn on the left hand. So there is hope yet.
But who knows who’s on the scene for him. That’s the annoying thing, someone can look oh so single and ready to mingle when there on their own but they’ve been taken completely out of context. You don’t anything about them, or who they text. To whom their heart belongs. And I’m done with getting my hopes up and looking stupid.
No. I don’t know who he is, where he is; I don’t know if I’ve already met him or know him, I don’t know if his eyes are blue, brown, green even or what colour his hair is. I don’t know his ambitions, profession…I don’t know anything, but God does. And when the time is right, there’ll be certainty because finally I’ll be the girl that gets the guy. Life won’t be complete -I’ll still get disappointed and upset and he’ll probably drive me mad and vice versa- life won’t be perfect, but it will be better. We’ll be better together. I’ll have a permanent hand holder, someone to face the day with; I’ll finally have someone to bring home and I’ll be part of a team; a friendship until death do us part.
I’ll keep you posted. It could be sometime.