Resolutions. According to the dictionary, it’s a firm decision to do or not do something. I make resolutions every year without fail but never see them through the complete 12 months. But this year, I need to stick to them because they feel more important, necessary and pivotal. As I enter my twenty-second year of existence, things are just beginning and I feel as if – I hope – 2013 holds many good things, that are initially out of my reach. Like a job and the potential of a relationship, with whomever he may be.
13 in its odd, prime numbered nature, may just turn out to be even and easily share-able Because what is life without sharing. I don’t want to be the blogger who rambles on about singleness in every single post (no pun intended), pining after something I don’t yet have; a relationship that I am not yet part of. Plenty of other issues occupy my mind believe me but being single stings a little more as the years go by.
Which brings me to my first resolution; to embrace this ‘single’ period of my life. To smile all the way through it, to live my life until the day comes when I have someone who’ll play scrabble with me and my parents, someone who has a stash of funny voices to offer when I’m reading to Sophie. Someone who will hold my hand, someone I can sit with in Starbucks, the pair of us just reading quietly, smiling over the pages at each other every now and again as we sip our once hot beverages. I hope that day will come. Soon-ish. But until then, I’ll focus on my second resolution. Getting a job. Not any old job. But THE job. I will not give up, or give in. Publishing is what I want to do and a good career is so important to me. So numero two is the joy of employment. Whilst simultaneously refraining from comparing my ‘…beginning to someone else’s middle.’ Well said, Jon Acuff.
Number three, involves pen and paper and writing stuff down. Everyday without fail. The good, the bad and the in between, because practice makes perfect. Whether it be a cluster of words, a paragraph, bullet points, a list; I’ll be putting pen to paper. 2013 is about becoming a writer.
And following on with the writing, I intend to blog more. That’s number four. And a new project. Involving my camera. I don’t use it enough, it became my favourite possession when I was travelling, but now that I’m home, I need to get snapping. So every day, I will take a picture. That’s seven pictures a week. And at the end of each week, I’ll write a summary of what I got up to, 7 good things, 7 bad things and 7 unexpected things. And hopefully it will be vaguely interesting. And the pictures will not be entirely food based. I promise.
High five to becoming more disciplined with my time. To managing it more effectively. To getting up at 8 or 9 am and going to sleep at 11 at the latest. My body clock is not ideal at the moment.
Six, is resolving to continue reading more. As much as I can and especially before bed. To read rather than watch TV, because apparently screens don’t help you wind down before slumber.
Seven is about spending more time with Gray C, playing with and cuddling her more. And stopping her from biting the spines of books and ripping the wallpaper from our walls by giving her my full, undivided attention.
Eight is for exercise and plenty of it. I have devoted the past week to devouring my copious Christmas Chocolate collection, so I can begin this year chocolate free. Here’s to exercise, toning up and loosing some weight. To feeling comfortable in this body of mine, eating more carrots and fruit.
Number Nine; to stop worrying and to pray more. And to find a Church.
Ten is to making more time for Sophie and my sister, Lucy. To be a part of Sophie’s life, to become someone she can rely on, and trust. Someone who will show her the joy of reading and arts and crafts. And to biting my tongue when my sister and I argue. Least said soonest mended, as my Dad likes to say at every available opportunity. Here’s to agreeing to disagree. And becoming an Auntie.
My eleventh resolution is to cook more. To make my parents a meal every now and again, to maybe even surprise them when they come home from a hard day, to a piping hot lasagna or barbecue pork chops. And to make them a cup of tea whenever they desire, with a smile on my face and a spring in my step. Number 11 is also about getting to know my parents more, as people, as human beings before they met each other and before my sister and I graced their lives. I take them for granted and when I think about them not being around it makes me realise how much I actually love them; as irritating as they can be sometimes. And as embarrassing as they can be too. The heartbreaking thing is they won’t be here forever, my Dad’s parents are both dead now and I’ve never stopped to think how that must feel for him. Which is awful. I want to endure their silly stories and maybe even jot a few down, because I am part of them, they made me, as weird as that sounds. They’ve seen me at my worst, my lowest and my best; they are my biggest fans. And I am their’s.
The twelfth and penultimate resolution is to smile more. At people I pass on the street, see on the bus, or in Starbucks, regardless of how strange they may think I am. To spread a little love. Oh and to stop worrying about money.
And finally the thirteenth resolution, 13 to mark the start of 2013, is to look outside of my self more. To get better at keeping in contact with friends, from Uni, from my travels, to keep in contact with those from Germany, Japan, New Zealand, Australia, South Africa and Ireland and especially those closer to home. Here’s to reminiscing and laughing. A lot.
Clearly I have made about 10 resolutions, too many, but you can’t beat a bit of optimism to start the year. I may feel like a bear with a sore head today on account of too much tequila and not enough sleep, but I am content. I had a hilarious New Years Eve with great friends and realised just how lucky I am.
I’m excited to face what this year has in store, fully aware that this time next week, it will pretty much feel like any old year. But for now I am positive and eager to make it a year of progression and success. But most importantly, happiness.
I’ll leave you with this, for I am off to bed, having already broken resolution number five. Whoops! Baz Luhrman says all of the above so much better than my tired mind ever could.
Enjoy. Happy New Year!